Three Strategies to Challenge Negative Thinking
Photo by Tara Winstead via Pexels
A quick introduction to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a treatment approach demonstrated to be effective for a variety of problems including anxiety and depression … and a whole host of other difficulties as well.
Here’s CBT theory in a nutshell:
psychological problems are due, in part, to unhelpful ways of thinking;
said problem are also based, in part, on learned - and unhelpful - patterns of behavior; and
when we learn how to shift and change the way we think and behave we feel better.
I have the pleasure of spending my days helping my clients to identify these problematic thought and behavior patterns, seeing them shift them, and change their lives.
Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts
We call these unhelpful ways of thinking cognitive distortions, which are essentially just distorted thoughts. When we experience such distorted thoughts - and yes, we all do - we may exaggerate how scary something is, think more negatively or more rigidly.
We often don’t realize in the moment that the thought is distorted, because at the time it seems reasonable and rational. But then, later, we might say, “I can’t believe I got so worked up about that!” or “What was I thinking? I know she didn’t mean it like that!”
To change these thoughts, we first have to become aware that we are having them in the first place.
First, increase awareness
The first step is to pay attention to your thinking when you’re experiencing negative emotion. When you start feeling sad, anxious, angry, or some other negative emotion, be curious about what you’re thinking.
And then, be skeptical. Wonder, what if this thought isn’t true? What if it’s a cognitive distortion?
Three Strategies to Challenge Negative Thinking
And, if you think the thought might be a cognitive distortion, then try to challenge it with one of these three strategies.
Ask yourself “How much do I believe this to be true?”
And then pause and consider how much - percentage wise - you believe the thought.
Very, very often we intellectually know the thing we’re worried about or negative about isn’t likely to be true or real. Therefore, asking yourself how much you believe it, and pausing to put a quantitative measurement to that assessment, helps to bolster that rational belief.
Ask yourself “What else could be true?”
Picture a pie chart: a pizza or a peach pie. Allow your thought to be one piece of the pie. And then fill in the other pieces of the pie with equally - or more! - likely alternatives.
For example: “He’s not answering his phone … he’s probably in a ditch somewhere!”
Or … his phone is on silent, or his battery is dead, or he’s listening to music loudly and didn’t hear the phone ring, or he’s in the bathroom, or he’s in a meeting …
Try the “Even Though” strategy.
Fill in the blanks: “Even though __________, __________.”
The structure of this sentence prompts you to enter something negative in the first blank, and to balance it with something positive in the second.
It’s important that we not engage in toxic positivity, ignoring the negative and desperately trying to be positive. We need to acknowledge that things are hard. It truly is not all puppies and rainbows and unicorns, and we need to honor that.
But, we also need to recognize that it’s also not all bad. Even when things are difficult and hard, we have much to be grateful for.
So, this simply strategy encourages you to acknowledge what’s difficult, while also acknowledging what’s good.
For example: “Even though this is a really challenging time, I have the most supportive family.” Or, “Even though this is scary and overwhelming, I’m excited for the opportunity.”
We often feel the way we do because of the way we think. Cognitive distortions help to create negative emotion. But … that means the reverse is also true (which is why cognitive interventions work!): if you can shift your negative thinking, you can improve your emotional wellbeing.
If this message resonates, let me know! I’d love to hear from you! I read and respond to every message (yes, really!).
If you want to discuss it with others, please share it!
And, if you want more, be sure to subscribe!