How to Explain Anxiety: Anxiety is a Boggart
If you’re not familiar with the boy wizard Harry Potter and his wizarding world, this reference to a “boggart” requires some explanation. I’ll provide some background but best to watch this clip from the film. (And, I highly recommend you remedy your lack of knowledge forthwith!!! Read the books - they’re amazing … and they may be even better on audio!)
A bit of background: In ‘Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban’ by J.K. Rowling, Professor Lupin introduces his class to a boggart in a wardrobe. Professor Lupin’s students learn that a boggart is a shape-shifting creature that takes the “shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most.” Professor Lupin goes on to teach the class the charm and corresponding incantation to finish a boggart.
Now that you have the proper context, let’s dig in.
“Facts” About Boggarts
01. Boggarts are shape-shifters.
02. And, they present differently to each person, shifting into the shape each person fears the very most, which is what makes them so terrifying.
03. Nobody knows what a boggart looks like when he is alone. A boggart sitting in the darkness has not yet assumed a form because he doesn’t yet know what will most frighten the person he is about to encounter.
04. The more generally fearful a person is, the more susceptible they will be to boggarts.
05. Boggarts can be made to disappear but more will inevitably arise to take their place.
06. Boggarts are generated and sustained by human emotions.
07. The charm, using the incantation ‘Riddikulus,’ that defeats boggarts makes the creature into a figure of fun, to force the boggart to assume a less threatening and comical form.
08. But, the incantation is not enough: laughter is what really finishes a boggart.
How to Explain Anxiety: How Anxiety is Like a Boggart
The shape-shifting nature of anxiety
Boggarts shift into the shape that we fear the very most, which, in the wizarding world, is what makes them so terrifying.
Anxiety does the same in our world.
I have had clients say that they perceive their own experience of anxiety to be “so much worse” than the anxiety experienced by someone else they know. They struggle to understand why their friend is worried about, say, a work happy hour when there’s clearly nothing to fear at a social event; yet, although all of their tests have come back negative, and they have no symptoms, they, themselves, truly believe they have cancer and cannot be reassured otherwise.
If you struggle with health anxiety, please know that your friend’s experience of social anxiety can be just as devastating, your sister’s experience of overwhelm by imposter syndrome can be just as limiting, and on and on and on …
When we are not afraid of it, when - as one of my clients likes to say - “it’s not my thing,” we can easily - and rationally - see the evidence of why there’s nothing to worry about.
But … what about when it is our thing?
Anxiety takes the shape of what we fear the very most.
It preys on our individual insecurities.
It builds upon a foundation already present and designed to support it. When we look back and dig deep, we often find the seeds have been planted from our earlier experiences. We then, in the here and now, nurture them and allow them to grow.
What does anxiety really look like?
Boggarts, hanging out alone in a dark wardrobe, don’t assume a form. They wait to take form until they will be seen. So, no one knows what they really looks like…
I have client after client after client tell me, “People who know me would be surprised to know I have anxiety.”
We hide it.
We think it’s an indication of weakness.
We feel ashamed of it.
And, we sit alone in a dark wardrobe with it … and suffer.
Some have a higher susceptibility…
The more generally fearful a person is, the more susceptible they will be to boggarts.
Some of us are more susceptible to anxiety as well.
This is nature-nurture at it’s best.
Yes, anxiety has a genetic predisposition.
But, it is also highly influenced by experiential factors. Anxiety can very much be a learned pattern of behavior. It can be created by our experiences. It can be modeled by our parents.
My clients often want to know why they have anxiety … where did this come from? If we look back and explore their history, we can often find the initial seeds that were planted, that were then ,later, repeatedly reinforced over time to create a longstanding pattern of behavior.
Others may appear to take the place of those you banish.
If you get a boggart to disappear, another will inevitably arise to take its place.
My clients often present with a primary trigger - social situations, for example - and begin making progress, becoming less and less anxious in social situations. They may then find themselves becoming anxious about another - different but related - trigger, for example, insecurity in their relationship.
Anxiety - due to its shape shifting nature - may find other things for you to worry about, once you start reclaiming your life from the initial source.
It’s insidious and sneaky.
Just as it convinced you the initial danger was real, it will try to convince you that you need to remain anxious ... and worry about something else.
The role of human emotions
Boggarts are generated and sustained by human emotions.
And. So. Is. Anxiety.
This is both the frustration of - and the amazing empowerment that comes from - overcoming anxiety: You must realize that your thoughts, and your behaviors, create, maintain, and exacerbate your experience of anxiety.
You must not get stuck on the idea that suggests you created it, and are therefore at fault, and then turn that into self-blaming self-talk. If you hang out with me, you will hear over and over and over again that this kind of thinking is not helpful and only serves to keep you stuck. (This is the frustration part.).
Instead (!!!), we focus on the notion that if it has been created - if it has been learned - it can be uncreated, it can be unlearned. (And, this is the empowerment part.)
The importance of humor and laughter
Making a boggart into a figure of fun, making it take a funny shape, casting a charm that calls it ‘Riddikulus,’ makes it less threatening and comical.
Think of Professor Snape in Neville’s grandmother’s stuffed vulture hat - hilarious!
And, the same is true of anxiety!
We struggle to find something scary or anxiety-producing if we think its funny, or ridiculous. More specifically, it is difficult to sustain anxious when you are able to dismiss the aspects of it that no longer make it threatening.
It’s hard to be anxious if we’re happy, if we’re laughing. It’s also hard to be anxious if you’re angry, if you’re fierce, if you’re determined to reclaim your life.
But, what really finishes a boggart is laughter.
So, not only do we need to picture Professor Snape in the stuffed vulture hat, we need to laugh at him. And the laughter must be genuine.
The boggart will know if you’re faking it, just as your anxiety will.
What is your boggart?
What is the thing you fear the very most? If Professor Lupin opened the wardrobe door, what form would the boggart take if you were standing there, wand at the ready?
An epic failure.
A public embarassment.
A cancer diagnosis.
Public speaking.
The end of your relationship.
What is keeping you stuck? What is paralyzing you? What is preventing you from living the life you desire?
If you have a picture in your mind of your biggest fear, start investigating. Paint a picture of how that fear affects your day-to-day life in a myriad of ways.
How does it invade your thoughts? How does it affect your behavior? How does it impact your relationships? How does it - on a day-to-day, perhaps moment-to-moment basis - limit the way you live?
How to finish your boggart
Recognize that you are not weak, and you are not at fault.
Anchor into the empowerment part of the equation of overcoming anxiety. You are not weak. You are not flawed (at least not any more than the rest of us!). This is not your fault. It is not something to hide, or for which you need to feel ashamed.
Recognize that this pattern of thought and behavior has been learned. And, it can therefore be unlearned.
Learn the landscape of your anxiety.
I love working with clients to demystify their experience of anxiety.
I know it may feel as though you’re anxious all the time, and have no idea why.
But, when you identify your deepest fear, and then start to paint a richer picture of how this fear has insidiously crept into how you think and behave (start with the questions in the ‘What is your boggart? section above), you find places to intervene, and you figure out how to shift and change and unlearn the pattern.
Learn and practice the skills to overcome it.
Open the wardrobe!
Drag it out into the light.
Confront it.
Tell it how ridiculous - Riddikulus! - it is.
And, laugh at it!
Learn practical skills and strategies to increase present moment awareness, and to target your thinking and behavior. And practice them. Put them on repeat.
And, unlearn the pattern.
Oh, and seek help, support, and guidance if necessary! Look for therapists practicing in the realm of mindfulness-based interventions and cognitive-behavioral therapy.
And, talk about it! Banish the shame!
If this is not something for which you need to be ashamed, that you need to hide, that is not your fault (hint: it’s not) … then what?
Recognize - and believe - that if struggling with anxiety doesn’t make you a hot mess, and it doesn’t mean you don’t have it together. It means you’re human, and you need some support and education.
So, reach out. Seek help.
And, talk to those you trust about what you’re experiencing. You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too …”
Concluding Thoughts
I’m excited to report that this post is the first in two new ongoing series on the blog!
First, a series entitled ‘How to Explain Anxiety,’ providing education around the ins and outs of anxiety and how it all fits together; and
a series taking characters, notions, and ideas from (largely, but not exclusively fantasy) books and movies to illustrate psychological concepts, called Real Life Fantasy.
Does it make sense to you that anxiety is a boggart? I hope this post provides a fun way to explore how your experience of anxiety may show up in your life, and in your day-to-day. I hope it also helps you to consider that there may be a pattern of learned thinking and behavior that may be keeping you stuck … and that you can unlearn it.
Can you name your boggart? Can you identify what’s keeping you stuck? If so, tell me!
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References
J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Scholastic Press, October 1999.
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