The Wisdom of Wizards: "What to do with the time that is given us" (Real Life Fantasy)
Gandalf the Grey, from J.R.R. Tolkein’s ‘The Lord of the Rings,’ provides wisdom regarding our use of time.
This is a ‘Real Life Fantasy’ post, a monthly blog post feature where lessons from fantasy stories translate into wisdom in real life.
Please note: These posts may contain spoilers.
In Chapter II of ‘The Fellowship of the Ring,’ Gandalf casts Bilbo’s ring into the fire, revealing fiery letters written in the language of Mordor. Gandalf then determines without a doubt that Bilbo’s ring is, in fact, Sauron’s One Ring.
Gandalf goes on to explain to Frodo that Sauron has “arisen again,” that the Shadow is growing, and that with the One Ring Sauron can bind the world in darkness.
And, Frodo, understandably says, “I wish it need not have happened in my time.”
And, Gandalf replies,
“So do I … and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
Here’s the wisdom inherent in what Gandalf is saying:
There is an element of common humanity in this experience.
That is, we all feel this way sometimes.
Life is hard, at times, for everyone. And it’s even harder for some.
There are likely things going on in your life, and there are things going on in the world that you don’t like, that you wish you could change.
In every generation, people stand witness and “live to see such times,” times equivalent to the threat of the world being bound in darkness.
And, when witnessing such times, we wish it could be different.
We can wish all we want … but wishing doesn’t change anything.
How often do we wish things were different? Daily?
They can be small complaints, or responses to legitimately life-threatening circumstances.
“I wish my dog would sleep in on Saturdays!”
“I wish I didn’t have to go to work today.”
“I wish I were thinner.”
“I wish I made more money.”
“I wish he hadn’t won the election.”
“I wish Russia hadn’t invaded Ukraine.”
“I wish my loved one didn’t have terminal cancer.”
We wish for the inconveniences, the discomfort, the difficulties, the harm, the deaths, and the destruction to go away, to not be happening.
Frodo understandably says, “I wish it need not happened in my time.’
Intuitively this makes sense.
And, yet … what does all this wishing get you?
You might say, “Nothing.” And, in a way, you’d be right, because wishing doesn’t lead to change.
But, the wishing, does create something: it causes suffering.
Because, you see, when you wish things were different when they cannot be, you suffer. You resist what cannot be changed. You resist what is, rather than accepting it.
It’s an attempt to deny reality. And, of course, it doesn’t work.
While it may give you a momentary reprieve, to allow you to avoid the discomfort of the truth for a time, reality will come crashing back to you amplified.
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), a treatment method created by Jon Kabat-Zinn, targets this tendency, counterintuitively encouraging participants to lean into, or embrace, the discomfort. MBSR has been incredibly beneficial to sufferers of chronic pain, not reducing their pain, but by teaching participants to accept – and cope with – their pain.
The more we wish something was different, the more we wish it would change or go away, the more energy we put toward it, the more life we breathe into it, and the more suffering we create for ourselves.
But, we do have a choice, a choice about “what to do with the time given us.”
This is the good part. The empowering part.
We get to decide “what to do with the time given us.”
We get to decide what our priorities are, and whether we’re going to live in alignment with the things we say we value … or not.
And, we get to decide how to respond to the circumstances of our lives that we cannot change.
You do have to work today.
And, today, right now, you are the size you are, and you make the money you make.
Russia did invade Ukraine.
And, perhaps you or your loved one has been diagnosed with a serious medical condition.
So … how are you going to respond?
This is the real point of Gandalf’s wisdom: What can you actually do today? What can you legitimately, in reality, plan to do going forward? What can you do to take action?
Perhaps something. If so, do that.
But, perhaps you can do nothing.
Perhaps you simply must feel very uncomfortable, extremely difficult feelings, and accept that, at least right now, in this moment, you can do nothing. If so, do that.
And, resist the urge to do something, that will end up doing nothing, because that will simply be wishing, and you now know where wishing gets you.
Listen to Gandalf: “That is not for [you] to decide.”
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